you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize