She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
