Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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