I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
