omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
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So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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