either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
