Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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