All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick