im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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