playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
