I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
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I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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