dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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