I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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