I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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