playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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