ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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