Where is the hickey?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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