drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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