my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize