omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
