So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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