With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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