I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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