Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.