he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dating After Heartbreak
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food