I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize