OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
