Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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