she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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