He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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