I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
