The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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