On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
