I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
