Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it's like iHOP with fire
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
