If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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