my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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