How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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