Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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