I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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