You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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