Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
