i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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