The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize