I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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