i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
whose parrot is this?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize