I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize