U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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