I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
