It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
