he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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